A Client’s Unexpected Realization

In my years as an educator, coach, and mental health advocate, I’ve often noticed a recurring theme: we tend to believe that a grand epiphany will unlock the future we’ve always dreamed of. Recently, one of my long-time clients brought this idea front and center with a moment of genuine reflection.

Let me back up for a second.

As Director of Astrolabe Academy, I’ve had the pleasure of working with teens and young adults, helping them navigate the rocky terrain of education and life. And while most people know me as a passionate advocate for learner-centered education, I also have a side journey as a mental health coach. After all, it turns out a lot of those rocky terrain moments aren’t just about academics—they’re about the inner obstacles we all face.

I’ve been working with a client for well beyond our original 20-week plan, helping him develop healthier habits, thought patterns, and, above all, self-awareness. As we were talking this week about his progress, he paused to think for a moment (that’s usually a good sign). Then, he hit me with something I didn’t expect:

“You know,” he said, “I thought I’d have this big breakthrough to get where I wanted to be, but it turns out, I was already the person I thought I wanted to become. I just needed some adjustments.”

Boom. Mic drop. All those coaching sessions distilled into one beautifully simple truth.

His words struck me. There’s this cultural narrative we all seem to have bought into: that self-discovery is a grand, cinematic event, complete with dramatic music and fireworks. But in reality, as this client so astutely pointed out, it’s often more about subtle shifts and gentle course corrections.

He didn’t need a personality transplant or a complete life overhaul. He didn’t have to go on a “Eat, Pray, Love” journey of epic proportions. No, he just needed to see that the person he wanted to become was already there, patiently waiting for him to notice.

It’s a little like wearing sunglasses on top of your head while tearing the house apart looking for them—until you finally give up and they drop onto your nose. Sometimes, what you’re looking for is already with you; it just takes a shift in perspective to see it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this “I’m already there” realization in my clients (and let’s be real, I’ve had those moments myself). It’s always an aha moment, but maybe not the kind of loud, showy revelation we expect. And that’s what I love about this work—the small, meaningful wins that accumulate over time.

The big takeaway from this client’s journey? Personal growth is rarely a thunderous breakthrough. It’s about becoming aware of the smaller, everyday victories and understanding that self-improvement often means uncovering who you’ve always been, minus the baggage and self-doubt.

As I reflect on this moment, I’m reminded why I do this work in the first place—helping others see their potential, not as something distant, but as something already within reach. It’s a gentle reminder for all of us that we might not need to completely change who we are to find the life we want. Sometimes, it’s just about finding the right lens to view ourselves through.

So, if you’re out there waiting for your life-changing moment, maybe you’re closer than you think. After all, you might already be the person you’ve been striving to become. You just need a few adjustments. Or, you know, to check the top of your head for those sunglasses.

Do you have any questions or concerns about this educational journey? I’m always here to help. Let’s reconnect with our children by embracing self-directed learning!

--------------------------

Join the discussion about this and other high school education topics in our Facebook Group "Alternatives to High School". The goal of the group is to give parents a place to discuss options to public/private school and standardized curriculum as well as share resources for educating teens.